Eight powerful ways to mold children into leaders

Eight powerful ways to mold children into leadersEight powerful ways to mold children into leadersWe all want our children to become leaders.Whether they spend the bulk of their days in the mailroom or the corner office, we want our children to grow to be courageous, passionate, and authentic. We want their actions to inspire other people to be their best, to get more out of life than they ever thought possible.Follow Ladders on FlipboardFollow Ladders magazines on Flipboard covering Happiness, Productivity, Job Satisfaction, Neuroscience, and moreAs parents and caretakers of children, their path to leadership is in our hands.We can model and teach the skills that will equip them to lead themselves and others in this hyper-competitive world, or we can allow them to fall victim to the kind of thinking that makes them slaves to the status quo.Its a big responsibility - but when isnt being a parent a massive responsibility?The beauty of building children into leaders is that its the li ttle things we do every day that mold them into the people theyll become.Focus on the eight actions below, and youll build leadership in your childrenandyourself.Model emotional intelligence (EQ)Emotional intelligence is that something in each of us that is a bit intangible it affects how we manage behavior, navigate social complexities, and make personal decisions that achieve positive results.Children learn emotional intelligence from their parents, plain and simple. As your children watch you every day, they absorb your behavior like a sponge. Children are particularly attuned to your awareness of emotions, the behavior you demonstrate in response to strong emotions, and how you react and respond totheiremotions.EQ is one of the biggest drivers of success in leadership positions.TalentSmarthas tested more than a million people and found that EQ is responsible for 58% of a leaders job performance. Likewise, 90% of top-performing leaders have high EQs.Most people do very little to develop their EQ growing up. Just 36% of the people we tested are able to accurately identify their emotions as they happen. Children who develop a high level of EQ carry these skills into adulthood, and this gives them a leg up in leadership and in life.Dont obsess about achievementParents get sucked into obsessing about achievement because they believe that this will make their children into high-achievers. Instead, fixating on achievement creates all sorts of problems for kids. This is especially true when it comes to leadership, where focusing on individual achievement gives kids the wrong idea about how work gets done.Simply put, the best leaders surround themselves with great people because they know they cant do it alone. Achievement-obsessed children are so focused on awards and outcomes that they never fully understand this. All they can see is the player whos handed the MVP trophy and the celebrity CEO who makes the news- they assume its all about the individual. Its a rud e awakening once they discover how real life works.Dont praisetoomuchChildren need praise to build a healthy sense of self-esteem. Unfortunately, piling on the praise doesnt give themextraself-esteem. Children need to believe in themselves and to develop the self-confidence required to become successful leaders, but if you gush every time they put pen to paper or kick a tanzveranstaltung (the everyone gets a trophy mentality), this creates confusion and false confidence.Alwaysshow your children how proud you are of their passion and effort just dont paint them as superstars when you know it isnt true.Allow them to experience risk and failureSuccess in business and in life is driven by risk. When parents go overboard protecting their children, they dont allow them to take risks and reap the consequences. When you arent allowed to fail, you dont understand risk. A leader cant take appropriate risks until he or she knows the bitter taste of failure that comes with risking it all and co ming up short.The road to success is paved with failure. When you try to shield your children from failure in reservierung to boost their self-esteem, they have trouble tolerating the failure required to succeed as a leader. Dont rub their face in it either. Children need your support when they fail. They need to know you care. They need to knowthat you knowhow much failure stings. Your support allows them to embrace the intensity of the experienceandto know that theyll make it through it all right. That, right there, is solid character building for future leaders.Tell them, No.Overindulging children is a surefire way to limit their development as leaders. To succeed as a leader, one must be able to delay gratification and work hard for things that are really important. Children need to develop this patience. They need to set goals and experience the joy that comes with working diligently towards them. Saying no to your children will disappoint them momentarily, but theyll get over that. Theyll never get over being spoiled.Let children solve their own problemsTheres a certain self-sufficiency that comes with being a leader. When youre the one making the calls, you should also be the one who needs to stay behind and clean up the mess these create. When parents constantly solve their childrens problems for them, children never develop the critical ability to stand on their own two feet. Children who always have someone swooping in to rescue them and clean up their mess spend their whole lives waiting for this to happen. Leaders take action. They take charge. Theyre responsible and accountable. Make certain your children are as well.Walk your talkAuthentic leaders are transparent and forthcoming. They arent perfect, but they earn peoples respect by walking their talk. Your children can develop this quality naturally, but only if its something they see you demonstrate. To be authentic, you must be honest in all things, elend just in what you say and do but also in who you are. When you walk your talk, your words and actions will align with who you claim to be. Your children will see this and aspire to do the same.Show youre humanNo matter how indignant and defiant your children are at any moment, youre still their hero and their model for the future. This can make you want to hide your past mistakes for fear that theyll be enticed to repeat them. The opposite is true. When you dont show any vulnerability, your children develop intense guilt about every failure because they believe that theyre the only ones to make such terrible mistakes.To develop as leaders, children need to know that the people they look up to arent infallible. Leaders must be able to process their mistakes, learn from them, and move forward to be better people. Children cant do this when theyre overcome by guilt. They need someone- a real, vulnerable person- to teach them how to process mistakes and to learn from them. When you show them how youve done this in the past, y oure doing just that.Bringing it all togetherWe can mold our children into leaders, but only if we work at it. Few things in life are as worth your time and effort as this.Travis Bradberryis the co-author ofEmotional Intelligence 2.0and the cofounder ofTalentSmart.This article first appeared at LinkedIn.You might also enjoyNew neuroscience reveals 4 rituals that will make you happyStrangers know your social class in the first seven words you say, study finds10 lessons from Benjamin Franklins daily schedule that will double your productivityThe worst mistakes you can make in an interview, according to 12 CEOs10 habits of mentally strong peopleEight powerful ways to mold children into leadersWe all want our children to become leaders.Whether they spend the bulk of their days in the mailroom or the corner office, we want our children to grow to be courageous, passionate, and authentic. We want their actions to inspire other people to be their best, to get more out of life than they eve r thought possible.As parents and caretakers of children, their path to leadership is in our hands.We can model and teach the skills that will equip them to lead themselves and others in this hyper-competitive world, or we can allow them to fall victim to the kind of thinking that makes them slaves to the status quo.Its a big responsibility - but when isnt being a parent a massive responsibility?The beauty of building children into leaders is that its the little things we do every day that mold them into the people theyll become.Focus on the eight actions below, and youll build leadership in your childrenandyourself.Model emotional intelligence (EQ)Emotional intelligence is that something in each of us that is a bit intangible it affects how we manage behavior, navigate social complexities, and make personal decisions that achieve positive results.Children learn emotional intelligence from their parents, plain and simple. As your children watch you every day, they absorb your behav ior like a sponge. Children are particularly attuned to your awareness of emotions, the behavior you demonstrate in response to strong emotions, and how you react and respond totheiremotions.EQ is one of the biggest drivers of success in leadership positions.TalentSmarthas tested more than a million people and found that EQ is responsible for 58% of a leaders job performance. Likewise, 90% of top-performing leaders have high EQs.Most people do very little to develop their EQ growing up. Just 36% of the people we tested are able to accurately identify their emotions as they happen. Children who develop a high level of EQ carry these skills into adulthood, and this gives them a leg up in leadership and in life.Dont obsess about achievementParents get sucked into obsessing about achievement because they believe that this will make their children into high-achievers. Instead, fixating on achievement creates all sorts of problems for kids. This is especially true when it comes to leaders hip, where focusing on individual achievement gives kids the wrong idea about how work gets done.Simply put, the best leaders surround themselves with great people because they know they cant do it alone. Achievement-obsessed children are so focused on awards and outcomes that they never fully understand this. All they can see is the player whos handed the MVP trophy and the celebrity CEO who makes the news- they assume its all about the individual. Its a rude awakening once they discover how real life works.Dont praisetoomuchChildren need praise to build a healthy sense of self-esteem. Unfortunately, piling on the praise doesnt give themextraself-esteem. Children need to believe in themselves and to develop the self-confidence required to become successful leaders, but if you gush every time they put pen to paper or kick a ball (the everyone gets a trophy mentality), this creates confusion and false confidence.Alwaysshow your children how proud you are of their passion and effort j ust dont paint them as superstars when you know it isnt true.Allow them to experience risk and failureSuccess in business and in life is driven by risk. When parents go overboard protecting their children, they dont allow them to take risks and reap the consequences. When you arent allowed to fail, you dont understand risk. A leader cant take appropriate risks until he or she knows the bitter taste of failure that comes with risking it all and coming up short.The road to success is paved with failure. When you try to shield your children from failure in order to boost their self-esteem, they have trouble tolerating the failure required to succeed as a leader. Dont rub their face in it either. Children need your support when they fail. They need to know you care. They need to knowthat you knowhow much failure stings. Your support allows them to embrace the intensity of the experienceandto know that theyll make it through it all right. That, right there, is solid character building fo r future leaders.Tell them, No.Overindulging children is a surefire way to limit their development as leaders. To succeed as a leader, one must be able to delay gratification and work hard for things that are really important. Children need to develop this patience. They need to set goals and experience the joy that comes with working diligently towards them. Saying no to your children will disappoint them momentarily, but theyll get over that. Theyll never get over being spoiled.Let children solve their own problemsTheres a certain self-sufficiency that comes with being a leader. When youre the one making the calls, you should also be the one who needs to stay behind and clean up the mess these create. When parents constantly solve their childrens problems for them, children never develop the critical ability to stand on their own two feet. Children who always have someone swooping in to rescue them and clean up their mess spend their whole lives waiting for this to happen. Leaders take action. They take charge. Theyre responsible and accountable. Make certain your children are as well.Walk your talkAuthentic leaders are transparent and forthcoming. They arent perfect, but they earn peoples respect by walking their talk. Your children can develop this quality naturally, but only if its something they see you demonstrate. To be authentic, you must be honest in all things, not just in what you say and do but also in who you are. When you walk your talk, your words and actions will align with who you claim to be. Your children will see this and aspire to do the same.Show youre humanNo matter how indignant and defiant your children are at any moment, youre still their hero and their model for the future. This can make you want to hide your past mistakes for fear that theyll be enticed to repeat them. The opposite is true. When you dont show any vulnerability, your children develop intense guilt about every failure because they believe that theyre the only ones to make such terrible mistakes.To develop as leaders, children need to know that the people they look up to arent infallible. Leaders must be able to process their mistakes, learn from them, and move forward to be better people. Children cant do this when theyre overcome by guilt. They need someone- a real, vulnerable person- to teach them how to process mistakes and to learn from them. When you show them how youve done this in the past, youre doing just that.Bringing it all togetherWe can mold our children into leaders, but only if we work at it. Few things in life are as worth your time and effort as this.Travis Bradberryis the co-author ofEmotional Intelligence 2.0and the cofounder ofTalentSmart. This article first appeared at LinkedIn.More from Ladders10 ridiculously smart questions you should ask in a job interviewThe best answer when an interviewer asks what animal are you?6 reasons recruiters say theyll toss your resume in the trash